BLT #28 | Feedback Triangles

WE BELIEVE:

Great feedback is shaped like a triangle.

You read that right: great feedback isn't a linear conversation between two people. It's actually a conversation between you, someone else, and the task at hand.

Imagine that you're at work and one of your direct reports has consistently delivered a weekly report a day or two late. This delay impacts your ability to compile your broader report, and your own boss is starting to notice. You message your employee and say something like this:

"Hey Sam, I've noticed that you've been sending your weekly report a few days late over the last few weeks. I just wanted to give you a gentle reminder that I need that report by Tuesday so that I can get our broader team report put together in time for the leadership meeting on Thursday. Thanks in advance!"

Feels reasonable, right? Your tone is kind and you're trying to not make it a big deal, but Sam still gets defensive. Why?  You've unintentionally made the feedback about Sam when you use the phrase "I've noticed that you've been sending your weekly report a few days late.." So what's a better approach?

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SOMETHING WE LOVE:

Making the task a third part of the conversation.

The problem with a message like the one above is that when we unintentionally center the feedback on a person, it sets up a "you vs. me" mentality.

Imagine sending Sam a note like this instead:

"Hey Sam. I wanted to check in quickly on the weekly reports. As you know, the leadership report needs to be done by Thursday, which means each team's report need to be wrapped up by Tuesday. I've noticed our report coming in a few days late over the last few weeks, so I wanted to check in and figure out how we make the Tuesday timeline work for everyone. I'm curious, do you think the timeline too tight or is something blocking the report early on in the week? You've got the closest perspective to the report so would love to hear your thoughts on how we can adjust."

It hits a little different, right? The language tweaks are small, but by separating the report from the person, it becomes easier for you and Sam to tackle the problem together.

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YOU SHOULD TRY:

Draw a triangle next time you need to give feedback.

Next time you need to give feedback, grab a post it and draw a triangle. Use it as a simple reminder to frame feedback in a way that separates the people from the task so that you can tackle the problem together.

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