How to Set Goals That Stick

How many times have you said "I'll get to it someday" about something that really matters to you? We all have those dreams gathering dust in the corners of our minds. But what if the real problem isn't lack of time, motivation, or ability - but rather the way we've been thinking about goals altogether?

It's never too late to get crystal clear about what you want and actually go after it. And we're not talking about vague wishes here - we're talking about transformative goal-setting that actually sticks.

“Why” Changes Everything

Too often, there's a disconnect between the goals we want and why we really want to achieve them. Until we connect the dots between our what and our why, we'll always struggle to finish what we start. Barriers will appear in our way, challenges will materialize, and boredom will set in. 

Dr. Jennifer Crawford from UNM Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences puts it perfectly: "If we don't care about why we're doing it, then it makes it really difficult to stick with that new behavior or a new habit. And it's way easier to change things up when you know your why."

Here's how to dig a little deeper:

• Instead of "I want a new job," ask yourself: "Why do I believe this change will bring me happiness? What exactly am I hoping will be different?"
• Instead of "I want to start a side project," ask: "What impact do I want to make?"

Keep asking why until you hit something that resonates on an emotional level. That's your real goal. The new job or side project? Those are just vehicles to get you there.

Understanding your why changes how you approach your goals. Instead of forcing yourself through difficult tasks, you begin to see them as necessary steps toward something deeply meaningful to you. This shift in perspective transforms what once felt like burdensome work into purposeful action.

The Two Types of Goals

When it comes to achieving what matters to you, not all goals are created equal. 

Getting specific is great for setting external goals. 

Getting specific is good for goals with clear end points. For example, ‘I want to start a business"’ sounds like a plan, but it's far too vague to act on. What kind of business? An e-commerce store requires different skills and resources than a local coffee shop or consulting practice. Each path demands its own unique roadmap.

As Mark Manson puts it, "Specific goals act as a sort of GPS for your life. And just like the GPS on your phone needs a specific destination to be useful, external goals really only work when you have a specific outcome in mind."

When you get specific, your brain stops spinning in circles and starts plotting a route. 

Prompts to help you create some external goals: 

• What's one skill you want to master? Define what "mastery" looks like for you.
• What specific income level would make you feel financially secure?
• Which professional certification or course would open new doors for you?

Internal goals actually require a little less specificity. 

Some pursuits - like personal growth, creativity, or relationship building - need a slightly different approach. 

Manson explains, "If I want to be a better writer, how do I actually measure that? Website traffic? Book sales?...Because if I decide that 'website traffic = being a good writer,' well, there are a lot of shady ways to build website traffic that don't involve good writing."

No painter ever looks at their canvas and says ‘That's it - I've officially finished becoming an artist!’ Internal goals aren’t about reaching some final perfect state. 

You don't wake up one day and check off ‘become more confident’ from your to-do list. Instead, these goals are about constant exploration and growth, like an artist developing their craft. Some days you'll create masterpieces, other days you'll make sketches that teach you something new, and occasionally you'll paint over the whole canvas and start fresh. 

Prompts to help you set some internal goals: 

• What kind of relationships do you want to nurture?
• What does "balance" look like in your ideal week?
• Which habits would you like to change?

The Systems Approach to Making Goals Stick

Your environment and system matter when trying to stick to goals. Think about the things in your life that make it easier or harder to reach those goals. Does your workspace support or sabotage your aspirations? Is your schedule aligned with your priorities or working against them?

James Clear shares some wisdom about this: "The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game…Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress."

Small tweaks in your surroundings can make a massive difference in your follow-through. Maybe it's putting your running shoes by the door, or keeping healthy snacks at eye level in your fridge. These seemingly tiny changes add up to major results.

The goal isn't perfection - it's progress.

In order to maintain your path towards a goal or start a new habit, you have to care enough about it to continue forward. Thinking about why you really value something and what the long-term picture is can really help you maintain progress on your goals.

Goal setting is about getting clear on what matters to you and taking consistent steps in that direction. Whether you're starting fresh or picking up where you left off, the best time to begin is now.

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